Sci-Fi (Dark) Comedy Series “Who You Are” | Episode 2 of 5


(heavy breathing) – Let’s do it, Darryl. Let’s fuck this party up. (laughs) Summer of ’84 all over again, baby. Oh yeah, you are a demon, you’re a shark. Oh, you’re a fucking hungry ghost. Oh yeah, come on, let’s go. Go long! I’m Darryl Mondi CEO
of Mondi Corporations, and when I’m not tossing old pig skin or slanging shots with my homeboys, I’m innovating, I’m synergizing, I am lettin’ my customers
touch the face of god. And most importantly, and
I do mean most importantly, I’m making you a shit–
(falling object clanging) – [Jonathan] Sorry.
– A shit ton of money. Self knowledge, meh, purpose,
eh, all good and well. But if you’re looking to make money, we might as well be selling
fortune cookies, right? Right? Fuckin’ wrong! Hoo, maybe the machine
is god, maybe it isn’t, but the devil is in the details. The true money making
potential of a Mondi machine is in information. You see, the Mondi machine
collects information from our customer base at an
unprecedented level of detail. You start with the small stuff, like date of birth,
gender, sometimes though, odd social security number
because they’re fucking idiots. But, beyond that you
get movie preferences. Sexual preferences, we
can’t get ’em to shut up about the kinds of preferences they have, because every person is just waiting to tell you every single
thing on their minds. Best of all, they pay us to do it. (laughing) Oh hey, they don’t even bother reading the terms and conditions because the screen is bright
and it hurts their eyes. Oh, and then we give them
a readout, a painting, and we tell ’em it’s who they are. This is the future of business. Get in on the ground floor while you can. Jonathan, you be saying this stuff. – My morse code is rusty, but I think he called us cops. (keyboard clacking) – Gillian again. – What did you expect? – Well, I expected when we fired
her ass that she’d be gone. – Hold on. I think he uploaded
something to the internet. – [Computer] Oh, shit! – What does that mean? – It’s out there, in the world. – Well, can you get it back? – From the internet? No, I don’t think so. – Well, what is it? – Ugh, it’s a picture. – [Computer] It’s a piece of art. Depicting the cat known as Garfield. – It’s a fat cat that eats spaghetti. – [Computer] Lasagna. – Can it hurt us? – [Computer] Lasagna? – The picture, is it dangerous? – I mean it’s a little lewd. But, no. – [Darryl] We gotta start connecting that thing to the internet. This is the fifth time that’s happened. – [Computer] The fifth
time what has happened? Jonathan, wait, Jonathan!
(static) Jonathan. (voice dies out) (Jonathan sighs) – [Darryl] What is it? One of our souls? – It’s a picture of lasagna. Marinara is made out of dicks. (ominous electric beat) (computer whirring) (sci-fi electric music)

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