Nathan For You – Failed Business Ideas – Extended

Nathan For You – Failed Business Ideas – Extended


– The one thing I’ve
learned over the years is that you can’t be afraid of failing. In fact on my show when I help businesses I fail all the time. I’m normally shy to show those moments but tonight I’m going
to make an exception. So let’s take a look now at
some of my greatest failures. One of my least popular ideas was for a completely germ-free hot dog stand. At outdoor food carts it’s easy for germs to transfer from money to your food so to completely eliminate this I designed a hands-free method to apply
condiments to the wiener. Also, there would be a second employee whose only job is to handle the money. – What are you doing with the wallet? – We’re doing a germ-free experience so you don’t handle your own money. – [Customer] Oh really? – [Nathan Voiceover] But
people were a bit annoyed with the money handling part. – Can I have my wallet back? – And the hands-free onion dispenser proved to be problematic as well. So you have to up, one up one down, and when it hits the table
the onions will fall. – [Cart Owner] Drop it, keep
droppin’ it, up down, drop it. – [Nathan] Harder. Fast. – [Customer] This is not gonna work. – That’s nothing to do
with the contraption, if you drop a hot dog you drop a hot dog. The public just wasn’t ready for the germ-free hot dog experience. So I laid the concept to rest. Next, I had an idea for a tearless way to tell a child that their pet has died, to be an upsell service
for an animal hospital. The concept was to make a video of the pet while it’s still alive telling the child it’s in animal heaven now. I hired the only voice
actor that responded to my Craigslist ad to be the dog, but when we showed it
to the owner’s child– (fanning harp music) – Oh, it’s me, Madi, I’m in heaven now. So sorry I died, I miss you so much. I’m happy here so I’m not coming home. – No, she doesn’t. – No. – Aw. It’s okay. – [Nathan Voiceover] He
hated his dog’s voice. Another flubbed idea. Next, we all hate paying
those pesky ATM fees that charge us up to three dollars for basically doing nothing. So I designed an ATM that
cleans your card during the transaction so you get
something for your money. No transaction fee, just
a card cleaning fee. But my mistake was that
the washing process took almost seven minutes and
people who were in a hurry got a little frustrated. It still surprised me because the machine was doing a thorough job
but even after all that, people still didn’t think
their cards were clean enough. – This is not clean. – That looks cleaner. – No, there’s still dirt right there. – [Nathan Voiceover] People
just weren’t as excited about it as I had hoped. And lastly, my favorite ideas
don’t just help with business, they’re good for the community as well. So I approached a bar
with an innovative way to stop drunks from
getting behind the wheel. The concept was to have a
street magician stationed outside the bar performing a
magic trick that allows him to secretly test the Blood Alcohol Levels of patrons as they leave. And with my background in
magic I offered to test it out. – For my final trick I’m
gonna need your keys. – My keys? – Yes, great, give the wand a blow. (exhales) Okay, a little bit harder,
right into the top. (hollow whistling) Okay, and you are over the legal limit. – [Man] Okay. – Blood Alcohol so your keys are gone and I cannot give them back to you. – Okay. – Sorry. – [Nathan Voiceover] But
that’s when I realized the flaw in my idea. If I held onto his
keys, and he took a cab, the guy couldn’t get into his apartment. – Could I get my keys please? – I can’t because you’re drunk. – Please give me my keys. – [Nathan Voiceover] And the
only solution at that point was to drive him home. – You live far. – I know I do. – [Nathan Voiceover] Also
once I got him home I realized I couldn’t just give him his
keys until he was asleep, or else he might go out and drive again. – You need to see me sleeping? – I need to see you fall
asleep before I leave your keys or else you might take
them and go out again. You don’t brush your teeth before bed? – Usually not, I usually
brush my teeth in the morning. – Really? – Yup. I know it’s kinda gross
but nobody else is really paying attention to the
way my breath smells. – [Nathan Voiceover] So
I had to put him to bed and make sure he went to sleep. ♫ And if that looking glass gets broke ♫ Mama’s gonna get you a billy goat – [Nathan Voiceover]
Before I left his keys. So as you can see, even the
greatest minds fail sometimes. – [Customer] Ohh!

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About the Author: Oren Garnes

100 Comments

  1. Well I saw the voice actor was asian but didn't put any further thought into it… but then he sounded like Mr. Myagi and I lost my shit hahaha

  2. 3:44 this drunk ass nigga really has a bottle of EVERCLEAR chillin in his liquor cabinet? Reminder that shit is like 95% alcohol and also illegal in california.

  3. That hot dog on the ground is sad. Some guy just wanted to spend a few bucks on a hot dog and now he has to deal with an accident.

  4. The Dog one was funny, but ultimately sad as fuck and really fucked up. Animals are family and treating their death as a joke to the grieving family is really fucked up. Plus if the Dog is legitimately ill enough to need putting down then you shouldn't be making them sit around infront of a green screen.

    Also the hotdog one was a waste of food which is also bad.

  5. Failure is success spelled backwards. Nathan, it’s good to see that you are out of the house and talking. Please call your mom and tell her that your ok. She is praying for you and we have 20 years of food saved for you when your ready to return to the compound and ready for Srgt. Cleanwaters purity standards to rule and govern your life

  6. something just snapped in my mind and i died at 1:44 hearing the asian guy say "however" while voicing the dog… ridiculously hilariously funny

  7. The Dog one is awful and sad. RIP Madi and so awful how sad the kid was. I get it's funny too but far too cruel.

  8. Seems like drunk guy could've gone to sleep just fine but then gotten drunk again before leaving the house, judging by his liquor cabinets in the background lol.

  9. What makes this so hilarious is that the inclusion of gloves when handling the food would make this entire procedure obsolete

  10. That breathalyzer trick was actually really good but it would have to be done by a cop who can legally hold their keys.

  11. ''madi doesn't talk like that'' cries
    me: awwwww tear falling down
    tear falls into my mouth
    me: mmmmmmh salty
    …. but madi doesn't talk LIKE THAT

  12. @3:43 in the back, you can see everclear in his liquor cabinet. Hes clearly a savage. I am an alcoholic and I still dont have the balls to drink that shit.

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