Miracle Workers | Welcome to Heaven Inc. | TBS


Every day, billions
of people pray. And here at Heaven
Inc, we listen. [static] [music playing] Hello, welcome to heaven. Right this way for orientation. COMPUTER VOICE: Welcome
to Heaven Incorporated, this is your Angel
Resources Orientation. As employees of Heaven
Inc, it is our responsibility to keep Earth running smoothly. COMPUTER VOICE: After
watching this training video, you’ll have a
better understanding of the inner workings
of Heaven Incorporated. How prayers are answered– these are incoming prayers. And since the
beginning, we’ve been answering them one at a time. I’m Eliza, and I
sort all the prayers right here in the mail room– vital life or death stuff. Like, please fix my Wi-Fi. Uh, give me Wi-Fi. Dear, God, if you have any
mercy, please let this airport have free Wi-Fi. COMPUTER VOICE: After the
prayers have been sorted they’re sent on to the
Department of Answered Prayers. [music playing] My name’s Craig, and I– I answer prayers. Sorry, which one? Oh, here’s one I’ll
always remember. Please let tomorrow
be a snow day. Naturally, I got right to work
manipulating weather systems across the eastern seaboard,
canceling thousands of flights, but it was all worth it
because Jocelyn Harbock, age 8, got her snow day. [airy sound] These are our miracles. COMPUTER VOICE: That’s not all. if you work hard, you may
have the opportunity to report to the CEO himself, God. I’m Sanjay. As executive Archangel,
I’m God’s right hand man. You know, you do one huge
miracle and everyone thinks you’re an overnight success. But that’s not true. I had to crash so many
planes before I got a Sully. It takes work. And when it comes to
the really big prayers– We take it to the only
man who can save us. Sir, an urgent
prayer’s just come in. “Oh, God, please stop
this terrible typhoon.” Typhoon. Is that the one that
goes whooshy-whooshy or spinny-spinny? Uh, it’s
whooshy-whooshy, I believe. Now If you ask me,
I mean, things should just be called the way it goes. Right? I mean, like, whooshy-whooshy,
spinny-spinny, shaky-shaky. This way people
wouldn’t get confused. Great idea, Sir. COMPUTER VOICE: Now that you
understand our processes, please see your nearest Angel
Resources Representative for your initial assignment. Goodbye, and good luck. Earth is counting on you. [music playing] (SINGING) La,
la, la, la, la, la. We make miracles.

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