Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Rings as vomited onto a Game Boy Color! (Part 1)

Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Rings as vomited onto a Game Boy Color! (Part 1)

When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced
that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of special magnificence,
there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton. When eleventy-one years later some Taiwanese
bootleg makers took this story and vomited it onto a Game Boy Color, there was also much
talk. Possibly less excitement though. Mid land world. About fifty-four hundreds years ago, DARK
LORD combine the technique of the metallurgy and the magic. Smelting a lot of rings with magic power. In face, he return to Mordor, steal thy. Smelting a most powerful ring. And with this rings, magic power to control
and suppress the other rings. And to establish the powerful Dark Kingdom. Mid land world, before the end of the second
centry. The king of the SPIRIT Gilgalad and Numenore’s
King, Elendil, hand-in-hand. Composed the league of the Human and the Sprite! After the flaming war, Dark Lord fail’d finally. The inheritor of the Elendil used the fragments
of the saint sword slashed the Dark Lord’s finger and occupied the ring. The ring spread from place to place, surprise
appeared in very fond of delicious foods and easy life’s race Hobbits. Frodo Baggins, who inherit the relatives property,
in this strange situation. Also inherit the responsibility for saving
the world, so it’d also be the target that the good guys and the bad guys that to fight
for. King of Ring! Oh yes! Oh yes! Hello! This is Yahweasel, let’s play King of Ring,
AKA… what?! Or AKA Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of
the Rings as chewed up and barfed out by BBD, apparently, on the Game Boy Color! Here we go! I’m told this game has a sort of Zelda 2 vibe
about it, but that’s really all I know. That is, that is everything I know. And I have a fast– a slow motion, sorry,
button. That’s how I read that intro. That’s actually really, really fast. Uh… do you want to talk, or? Okay? Uh, okay, B is this, B doesn’t talk. A is jump, A doesn’t talk. Up and B, right and B, left and B, down and
B is that… A and B, start is the menu not– oh good,
that part isn’t translated! Superb! Okay, we have… that looks like a clip for
a pistol. We have three pistol clips and nothing else. Really enjoying Frodo’s face there. Quite, quite mangled through the compressor. These things happen. So, like, oh, oh, I bombed him! Okay… select bombs him. That’s not what I wanted to do. This jerk apparently doesn’t want to talk
to us? I really hope I’m just not missing how we
talk to him. Okay, I guess we have to go here then. We’re trying to save the world, we got things
to do! Oh, you want to talk! “Only–” Whoah, whoah! “Profoundest philosopher can pass this place.” Okay, what, what?! I guess I’m not profound enough. I had to slow motion there for a second to
actually read that. Apparently slow motion is how I have to read
things in this game all the time, doesn’t matter where. Yep, definite Zelda 2 vibe going here. What, what, what, what, what just happened? Oh I see, this spot is like, uh, it’s like
a challenge area? Oh right, and I sort of went left, and therefore
out of the area. So they, they have an enemy come from a place
where you’re gonna accidentally leave the area, that’s nice. Whoa, whoa, okay! Okay, if I triple hit B I sort of slide, which
seems to leave me in the middle of the enemies, which doesn’t seem like THAT good of an idea… Maybe if I’m fast enough it’s not that big
a deal? Boy, I’m really loving that the frame rate
seems inconsistent. So actually, do I not need to kill them? Is there experience, or do I just– do I
just go? Definite Zelda 2 vibe, but I never really
played Zelda 2, so I don’t actually know what that implies. I think that the triple, like the the slash,
is not helping me at all. I should just stick with the double. Yeah, the double is better. The triple is, like, trying to kill me. The triple is putting me right on top of the
enemies. What, what is happening? Yeah, I’m not, I’m not gonna deal with your
spiky situation there. I guess I haven’t actually gotten hit yet,
so maybe I’m not doing that badly. Well, maybe I have, it’s impossible to tell
with the HP bar that didn’t actually start full! Go away. You know what, I’m not killing you, you’re
not worth it. You don’t seem to actually give experience
or anything, you just sort of die. I guess this is more of a platforming game
than an RPG then. It’s a hybrid! If I go slow enough then it doesn’t do any
special moves, he just sort of stabs a bit. That seems to be pretty effective, actually,
cuz it stun locks them! Bye! Did I make progress? No. [Laughs] Hello! Are you– Okay, you’re an enemy, good to know! There– they– they’re just, like, attacking,
but– Oh, oh, they hit me! Okay, they can indeed hit! My, my hit– That’s a battery. My hitbox seems huge, like I, I slash and
I’m clearly not hitting them, but they get hit from a LONG way away. See, I’m hitting that guy when my sword is
clearly nowhere near him. Ow! Fine, to Hell with you. I’ll just walk right. Okay, I got a battery, it didn’t restore my
health… Is that experience points maybe, are those
experienced baubles in this game? You need more battery power to succeed! That says HP, like, uh, I was actually about
to say Harry Potter, but then it occured to me, like HP brown sauce. So, Hobbits are powered by brown sauce, that’s
nice. I also want to point out the fact that I’m
almost dead. So in these terrible, terrible bootlegs, I
do, uh, I am willing to cheat if the game seems just badly balanced to the point of
being impossible. Okay, that one was like fire. That was the Tabasco sauce! Okay, we at least got– nope! Oh my God, it goes on forever. Oh dear. How do you actually progress?! Is– Do you eventually progresses, is there any
actual movement beyond this point? Ow! Oh, dead. Oh good, game over, that isn’t even like “kick
you out of that area”, that’s just straight up game over. Supreme. Outstanding. And we’re right back to here. Here’s how fast this is supposed to be. It’s a bit fast, a bit fast! Let’s skip that. Okay, we might be cheating in the first episode
here! Cuz that, that did not work out so well for
ol’ Yahweasel! This is, uh, this is tough! I guess just don’t get hit. Git good scrub is the secret to this game. Jumping seems almost useless. Swording is the way to go, and occasionally
it just, like, freezes up, which is REALLY unhelpful. Oh, don’t freeze up! Don’t freeze up! Yeah, when there are too many enemies on the
screen it just freezes up. I don’t know what any of those batteries are
doing, they all look slightly different! They all look slightly different but appear
to do nothing. Oh, I missed a battery. I shouldn’t go back– well, too bad, I don’t
get any brown sauce! Oh, jeez, don’t, don’t stand there, that’s
a bad place to stand! Yeah, the slide always just ends up with me
standing inside of an enemy, I don’t know why I would do that. [Groan] This is bad! I’m surrounded! Oh, I guess the slide can let me sort of get
to the other side of the enemy if I’m surrounded, that’s a good thought. Are the enemies actually spawning infinitely,
and should I be grinding? I don’t know whether I have experience. AP and, uh, DP maybe? Defense? Oh, attack points and defense points, okay. So maybe I don’t have experience but I get
new armor and that kind of thing? Which is sort of Zelda 1 and Zelda 3 and beyond,
or Link to the Past and beyond, styley. Experience points is not how that game works,
but… Is there ever an escape, am I in Hell? Is this what this world is? It’s just an endless flat terrain with a never-ending
series of enemies I have to kill, is that how this works? If I can just manage to sort of get them on
the same side and only deal with one enemy at a time then it’s not that big of a deal. Or, not even one enemy at a time, but just
one direction at a time, but when they get behind me it is very difficult to get past
them because they’re always spawning from both sides. Yeah, I see you. This is gonna be a little bit tedious, I think! I think this might be a bit tedious! At some point I might be fast motioning through
these scenes, at least to some degree. Yeah, all right, you get to die, don’t be
so impatient! Everybody gets to die with ol’ Yahweasel around! Come on, join me! Join me where I use my laser sword to attack
you from slightly beyond its range. It’s a very weak laser but it is still a laser
so that’s nice. Okay, this is obviously endless. Other than the fact that I keep on getting
some nice bottles of brown sauce, I don’t seem to actually be getting any experience
or anything out of this, and, uh, there’s no, there’s no suggestion in the menu of experience
points, so I think maybe they’re just aren’t experience points and this is just what this
game is. Sort of a nightmare, really, if I wanted to
summarize it. Just basically a nightmare. Oh my God! Oh! How did that even hit me, what hit me? Oh God, they come, they’re just endless! Just leave the screen. You know what, let’s, let’s just not attack
the enemies. To Hell with the enemies! I have low HP, I don’t want to deal with you
punks. Bye! Hey, we made it! “I am glad to see you.” “Now, follow me.” Okay… Apparently, we’re following him. Is this Gandalf? No, there was a town up there, why would I
go into this evil looking tower with low HP! “Long time no see my friend.” I turned into a wizard. “This time.” “I come to here is what to know something
about the ring.” “The ring…” Who’s talking? “How should we deal with this ring.” “Gandalf the Grey feature is no more controlled
by us.” “Now we should to go and seek help from Dark
Lord.” Oh, is this the other guy? “Give me the ring.” “We can start a whole new world together!” [Singing] A whole new world! “You… you are not my best friend anymore!” “I have give you an opportunity to join us,
don’t defy us.” Wow. Gandalf took a nine-year-old girl approach
to that. “I won’t join you.” You’re not my best friend anymore! “And then, I will need to attack you.” Dun dun dun! Oh, we’re playing as Gandalf. Oh, he has a, he has a laser weapon, that’s
pretty good. That’s pretty cool. Oh, do I need to escape the tower now? Oh man. Give me that brown sauce! Is there… okay, so I, whoa. Okay, A… what? Can I… oh, I can switch! Whoa, look at that, I can switch! This game is advanced! So, what… That’s, okay, there’s an A next to that, so
if I do… Well, no, A is jump. Right, that’s, that’s his spell, just wasted
one of those, that’s nice. But, how… Whoa! Oh, I go to the– oh, I– oh, that was healing! Oh, thank goodness! Um, hi! Hey there. You, uh, just gonna hang out right where I
need to be? Am I hitting him or no? I don’t– the thing is, I don’t know if there’s
experience points so I don’t know if it’s even worth while to deal with these jerks
or if I just leave. Let’s just leave, let’s just leave. Oh, man, is this, like, actually frame rate
problems, or is it pseudo-imaginary. Like, is that just the, uh, the the emulator? I don’t know why it would be, it’s a Game
Boy Color game… I think it just has framerate issues, incredibly. It’s a Game Boy Color game with very little
going on on the screen and yet with framerate issues. Oh, geez. Okay, down we go, down we go. I mean, that would be because the Game Boy
Color is a terrible, underpowered system. Ow! Shoo, go away! Okay, bye! Weeh! I guess with these, the things in the menu,
I could be using Google Translate to figure out what they are, I’m just not. Okay, we’re going down here now. Hey eyeball friend! You know what, to Hell with all of you, we’re
just leaving, bye. Oh good, we get to go outside. Ow! Stop getting close! The thing is, this attack is kind of slow,
so they get a real opportunity to catch up to me when I use it. Go away! I seem to be able to do it twice. Is that a glitch? Yeah, I think it is a glitch! It’s clearly meant that he’s supposed to pull
it back up and then do it again later. At least the enemies don’t have just hit boxes
themselves, they need to actually be attacking to hit you, that’s handy. What are these things I’m picking up, like
honestly. Are they anything? They don’t seem to be in the menu. Yep. They, they are nothing, they are lies. Go away, geez! And yeah, they barely lasts any time, so if
I don’t have an opportunity to go pick them up I’m not getting them. I’m Gan– er, not Gandalf now. Oh, look at that, there’s a save function! Yay, we saved, one presumes! So if I load, what do I lose? Does that mean I’m seven minutes in? I lose nothing it seems, but I also don’t
regain my HP, so that’s annoying. Wait, how do I… what? How do I get to the menu? Why does it only show save now? I guess from this screen there is no normal
menu, there’s only the save menu? I guess so, okay! World map has no normal menu, only save menu. Well, we’ll go into this town next time! Until then thanks for watching, if you liked
the video I’ve got hundreds more, just click that channel button! Cheers, from Yahweasel.

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About the Author: Oren Garnes



    Finally playing this.

    Even though this is bootlegged all to hell there are a BUNCH of references, like Smeegol being in this.

  2. maybe the reach of that tiny sword is so big because of all those batteries and pistolclips you stuff into it.

  3. C'mon now, HP clearly stands for Hewlett-Packard. Look at all that print quality background and cutscene. It's a product placement!

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