If Retail Workers Were Honest


– Hi, how are you? – Good, thanks. – How am I? I’ve been standing for eight hours and I’m in a terrible mood (laughs). My dog died. – It looks like you erased the
entire contents of your phone but sure, I’ll take responsibility. – I’m saying I need to
go in the back to check for her size but I’m
really going in the back to check my Instagram. – Oh, I’m pretending like
I didn’t just see porn pop up on your computer. – You’re super cute, I’m
gonna act so professional to cover up how nervous I am. Hello. – Hi. – This blouse looks terrible on you but I’m a hundred dollars
away from my sales goal. Yes girl, it’s fierce. – No, we’re out of stock. For the 100th time. – Oh, no price tag. Must be free. (laughter) – I’ve already heard
that joke six times today and it’s not even my lunch break yet. – Where can you buy that obscure adapter? I don’t know, I’ll Google it. – Nope. You’re misinterpreting good
customer service as flirting. Give me one moment. Yeah? – I am watching you steal
that accessory but go ahead because I’m not allowed
to confront you directly. – No, you can’t return that
item without a receipt. But let me go get my
manager so he can tell you the exact same thing. – We’re understaffed
today so I’m just gonna make an excuse to head into the back. – Oh, you’re great with technology. Then why are you here? (laughter) – After three years in retail I’m the world’s best fake laugher. (laughs) – I haven’t had a full
weekend off in four months. (laughs maniacally)

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About the Author: Oren Garnes

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