Hasan Puts #YangGang To The Test | Deep Cuts | Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj | Netflix


“What do you think of the
Lakers doing so well this season?” Alright, look. That’s messed up. You guys know I’m a Kings fan. And you know that the Lakers
have consistently broken our hearts. It makes me so mad that they’re gelling, that LeBron is back, that they’re all getting along. There’s no drama. Dwight Howard is, like,
now all of a sudden mentally there. Alright. Does anyone else have
any questions for me or anything? I’ve got a question! Why’d you cut our interview so short? Ladies and gentlemen,
Andrew Yang! Andrew Yang! You too! Yes! Dude, you did fuckin’…
Did you see the way he did that? Aye man, you got the like,
the swagger’s– I’ve seen it, it’s up now. Oh, thank you, man. Thank you. You hopped up like you had wheelies, man. Let’s see Bernie Sanders do that. Oooh, wow! Shots fired. Andrew, that’s ageist, bro. Don’t do that. Bernie’s an inspiration and
role model to me, uh… Don’t qualify. Don’t qualify. Go full
Nas, Jay-Z. Go full Take— Just go Takeover. Oh… You know what you should do? Like,
the Takeover track, be like, “You little fuck, I got
money stacks bigger than you.” You should do that. Alright, anyways. – You’re not the first person to tell me that.
– Um, are you— are you ready for this? I’m ready. You realize the last presidential candidate
that came on Deep Cuts dropped out, so… We had Beto on the show. The ne—
Like, the following day he dropped out. You have to answer the question while
holding an egg on a spoon. So describe, in Spanish, what’s
happening right now on stage. Ah, pues, es muy complicado… – You ready for the danger zone? This is like—
– You have absolutely nothing to worry about. – Okay.
– I’m gonna undo the Patriot Act jinx right now, Ahh, it’s not a jinx. Come on, man. He was polling pretty low, but alright. Now there’s only one dude on TV
doing this all the time. Alright. So obviously, certain media outlets
have blacked you out. Yes. – I’ma just say it. MSNBC…
– Yeah. And I’ve got to say… They call you John Yang… All I’m asking for is that they say,
“We’re going to treat— – Now you wanna— …you exactly like every other candidate.
We’re going to allow surrogates on our air just like we allow surrogates from other campaigns.”
And they’re going to acknowledge that they’ve omitted me from over a dozen graphics
and have made mistakes in our coverage. Very, very reasonable. Just treat us like everyone
else and then I will be back on the air the next day. Okay, but you’re asking for an apology,
though. They have to admit fault? – I mean they actually—
– You want the news media to admit fault? You want Rachel Maddow to tack on
another 30 minutes to her three-hour show – and be like, “I’m sorry, Andrew.”
– I’m not looking for 30 minutes. – I would take one minute.
– One minute? Okay. Uh, but the fact is they’ve already apologized for
some of the mistakes they’ve made in isolation, so I’m just asking for an apology to acknowledge
that they’ve made additional mistakes, as well. Okay. Why don’t you do this:
Go right to Camera One and say, “Hey, MSNBC… the only time I agree with Trump
is when he’s talking about MSNBC.” Wow. – I, I would not put it that way.
– Aw, come on! Come on, dude! I’m trying to— Look, you’re what, at 6%? – Yeah, I’m in, I’m in fifth place.
– If you get the beef poppin’… I guarantee you’ll go up to 8%. If you really… If you really swing dick at MSNBC… Dude, you already have the internet.
They’ll go crazy. – Look, I got to—
– Reddit loves you! I got to give them a road back… – Just go raw.
– …because after I’m president, you know, I’m going to be doing
interviews with them. – I’m serious.
– We got to give them the path back. But MSNBC, just come clean and say,
“Look, mistakes were made. Let’s put this behind us so we can get to the
business of beating Donald Trump in 2020.” Mike Bloomberg just declared his candidacy.
You’re the numbers guy. Should billionaires exist and be able
to run for office? Two questions. Well, our economic system has been geared
towards this winner-take-all dynamic for years. So, it’s going to produce some billionaires as
a byproduct of the way the economy is set up. Uh, and so, you can’t go back in
time and rewire the way the economy – …should have been starting in the ’90s.
– What do you— what do you mean by that? It’s already designed for people
to get a billion dollars? It is designed so that it’s going to end up
producing some number of billionaires, which we have to remedy and as president— Because of what? Monopolies or what? Like what— Yeah. You’ve seen market power consolidated
in the hands of fewer and fewer companies and then you’ve seen technology
and capital converge. The— But should he, should a billionaire like
Bloomberg be able to run? That’s the real question. Because he can just buy his way
through a situation that you’re not in. Yeah. History has shown that self-funding candidates have a very,
very poor track record in elections. And the fact is, you can’t buy
passion, you can’t buy belief. Uh, if you have people and money,
I’ll take people every single day. And that’s what I believe the billionaires in this race
are going to find out, as well, in the days to come. – But should— Should billionaires be able to run?
– The way we’re set up— You’re Euro-stepping the answer here and then going to the hole. I’m— I’m going man. Now you gotta answer that. Come on, Andrew. Yeah. Billionaires should be allowed to spend money
on behalf of their own campaigns. Yes, I believe so. Okay. But, and you’re— You’re okay going up
against the David versus Goliath situation? Well, I think what they’re going to find is that spending
money on advertising dollars is going to be like pushing on a string where after a certain amount of ads,
it actually becomes more irritating than anything else. Uh, you’re nodding because you see this and you don’t even live in Iowa. So, if— if you live in this age— So, like, people in Iowa are like, “Dude, I cannot…
It’s just Fashion Nova, Fit Tummy Tea, and Michael Bloomberg.” Is that what their Instagram is? There was an article where some teenagers
were doing a comedy routine where they were like, imitating these political ads because
they’ve seen them over and over again. So much so that it’s become a joke. You know what, man? You guys know what time it is. It’s time for
the surprise math quiz. Let’s see it. – Andrew, here we go.
– Alright. Two trains travels in opposite
directions from the same station. The first train travels 20 miles an hour faster
than the second train, but it starts one hour and 30 minutes
after the second train. Five hours after the second train starts,
the trains are 512 miles apart. What is the speed of the first train
in miles per hour? Go. As the math guy, I know
the answer is always C! Dude, it’s E, are you kidding me? It’s E. Go, show the work. Super simple.
We did this before. Let X be the speed of train two. X plus 20 is the speed of train one. Obviously, 3.5X plus 20, plus 5X, five two,
8.5X plus seven equals five over two. X is 52. Speed of train: 52 plus 20, 72.
Easy. You sold a test prep company, bro? I did, I did. I did. Alright, man. – Now you’ve said the Freedom Dividend…
– Number one in the country. tested well as an alternative to UBI. Yeah, yeah. We’ve tested all the
names for giving people money. – Dude. Come on, dude.
– No, true. I’m going to be the only one.
It’s just like, “You really tested it?” You were like, “Okay. Let’s try, uh,
‘Allowance for Adults.’ Eh, it’s not going to work.” Yes. We didn’t have that on the list. – Patriot Bucks. Liberty Dollars.
– We had something very close to that. – Patriot Bucks?
– We had a lot of variants. – We had, uh, we had Freedom Dividend, which won.
– Liberty Bribe. How about Liberty Bribe? How about, how about, how about
‘Not Even Half Your Rent… – Bucks”?
– That’s true here in New York. That is true. – Okay. No, but it tested really well. Yeah.
– Anything with the word “Freedom” in it. Anything with the word “Freedom”
in it tested way, way better. – Yeah. You know the show is called Patriot Act…
– But we tested a whole bunch of that stuff. because the Patriot Act was super fucked up. – Yeah. And it got passed.
– Okay. Uh, the Republicans are really
good at naming terrible stuff… – Okay.
– …really appealing names. Okay. But Silicon Valley people love it.
Shouldn’t we have a little bit of skepticism if Silicon Valley bros love
the idea of the Freedom Dividend? Just based on… everything. – Well, the reason why I love the Freedom Dividend…
– Yeah. is that it makes people stronger, healthier, mentally
healthier, less stressed out. We’ll start to put value on things that, right now, the market ignores.
Like the work my wife does at home – with our two boys, one of whom is autistic…
– Yeah. Caregivers, nurturers, uh, coaches and mentors,
and increasingly artists, creatives, and even journalists. There are people in
Silicon Valley that do support this and some of them support it for the exact
right reason— because they know that we’re in the midst of the greatest economic and
technological transformation in our country’s history and we need to do something
about it as quickly as possible. Are we using the Freedom Dividend
as a short-term solve on massive capitalistic inequality that already exists? So, say me and my wife, we get the Freedom
Dividend of a thousand. So, we get 24 Gs a year. How is that going to take down the structure
of the Michael Bloombergs, the Jeff Bezoses? What does that do?
That’s not even a dent to them. Well, to me, what it is— – To massive economic inequality that’s only growing.
– Yeah. Um, what it is, is a foundation for all of us. Like you have— Do you ever stop building
a house at the floor? You ever be like, “Oh, this is a nice floor.”
Of course not. You have the floor and then you have
to build a structure on top. And you’re going to go after
the technology companies as well? – Oh yeah.
– Monopolies, all that stuff. Well, the biggest thing that I’m stressed out
about where the tech companies are concerned, – uh, is that—
– You know we’re on Net— We’re on Netflix. – We’re on Netflix. Everybody but Netflix.
– It’s cool. Everybody but Netflix. Go ahead. I don’t think this does apply to Netflix, happily. You’ll be— that wasn’t intentional. Okay, good, good, good. Okay. Oh, good. Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. – Yeah, fuck Google. Go, go, go, go.
– …is that— Yo, you’ll be like, “Disney’s a huge fuckin’ problem.
Fuck them. I’m gonna break them up…” That’s funny. Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. So, I’m a parent, uh, and what stresses me out
most about technology is that we’re going through a mental health crisis in this country—
record high levels of anxiety and depression, and it’s related to technology use and
smartphone adoption and social media apps. Uh, and a friend of mine in Silicon Valley said that we
have some of the smartest engineers in our country turning super computers into dopamine delivery
devices and slot machines for teenagers. And it’s having a disastrous effect
on our mental health. So what we have to do is we have to get into
the guts of these social media apps and recalibrate their design choices so they don’t just
have the profits of the companies in mind, but they also have our mental health and the
mental health of our children. Now… You believe data should be owned
by the person who generates it. Yeah! Our data needs to be ours. These companies
are selling and reselling it and profiting to the tune of billions and billions of dollars… Which companies specifically? What are
we talking about? The Majors. Facebook, Amazon, Google— the Majors,
are selling our data and profiting to the tune of billions, even tens of billions, of dollars. So I’m proposing that our data is ours. Even if we decide to lend
it to these tech companies, they have to tell us what they’re doing with it.
They have to share in the value with us, so we would literally get data checks
from the tech companies. Wow. And then we have to be able to turn the dial off
and unplug it at will. And— And this is fundamental. Right now, we’re in a
position where the tech companies know us better – than some of our family members.
– Yeah, that’s true. – And they’re putting all these—
– That’s very true. It is true, right? Netflix might, too.
But in Netflix— – Oooh.
– No, no— Oooh.
– But in Netflix’s case— Oh, really? I told you to go after MSNBC.
Now you’re trying to fuck with my bag. No, no. But in Netflix’s case, they just figure out what
we want to watch so it’s quite benign, actually. And then they figure out what sort
of money to invest content in. – A lot of times we have all these—
– Nice save, nicely done. Nicely done. I have a subscription. Yours or like, a cousin’s? Be real. My cousin borrows mine,
that’s what kind of cousin I have. Alright, alright. I want to go back to something that I
was really fascinated with in your book. You’re the automation guy. That’s how
you kind of became— and made a name – on the national stage.
– Yes. How bad is this robot situation on a scale from
Roomba to Black Mirror? Where are we at? We are approximately halfway
between Roomba and Black Mirror. We’re about 50% of the way to robot dogs. Whoa, whoa, wait. No, no, no, wait. Half? Like— So, what are we? Like… So, there’s Tamagotchi, Terminator…
– Yeah. and you said we’re halfway? We’re definitely past Tamagotchi. We’re short of Skynet, but we have to move
pretty quickly and rewrite the rules of this economy to work for us because it’s
not going to happen unless we make it happen. What are the biggest threats to automation?
’Cause a lot of people have criticized and said you’ve overplayed your hand on
how bad automation is gonna be. You know, I think it’s a very bad bet
to bet against technology over time. And sure, technology doesn’t proceed in a
straightforward, linear fashion. Sometimes it doesn’t look like stuff’s working and
then they’ll all of a sudden make some advance, and before you know it, we’re buying
all of our stuff on Amazon. So, the pace is unclear, but I’m 100% confident
that we blasted away 4 million manufacturing jobs primarily in the Midwest and
helped get Donald Trump elected. I’m 100% confident that Amazon is closing
30% of America’s stores and malls, paying zero in taxes while doing it, and the most
common job in our economy is retail clerk. So, these are indisputable facts before you get to
artificial intelligence replacing call center workers— Is my job at risk? That’s fine.
Is my job at risk? You’ll be the last person standing
while the rest of us all give up. I shouldn’t be happy. I shouldn’t be happy.
That’s messed up. Oh no, man. It’s good. I mean… having a secure
livelihood is nothing to be ashamed of. Oh dude, it’s comedy. That’s not secure.
You know how un-secure this is? I gotta— that’s one reason why you’re such
an awesome Asian-American role model… – Uh-huh.
– because I’m sure his parents were like, “This is, like, the worst, uh, career move ever.” And now, you can be like,
“Look, Mom and Dad, check it out.” Yeah. This is gonna be on YouTube,
Mom and Dad. Now, I recently watched the Disney Channel
Original Movie, Smart House. Now if you haven’t seen it… it’s basically a movie where the computer
takes over the role as mother and holds the family hostage. How does this
movie play into your fears of automation? Wow. Wow. I haven’t seen this movie yet. Um… Dude, I did my real research. I read the book,
I found a piece of pop culture from the ’90s – early 2000s, connected to it…
– Oh, it’s an old movie? It’s what? It’s— Yeah, yeah. It’s O.G.
It’s Lizzie McGuire level, you know what I mean? It’s that era. Yeah. Now you’ve said before you are going to be,
if you win the election, the first American president that was ex-goth. Yeah and this is— This is one way you know that
I had no intention of ever running for president. Let’s— let’s see the photo real quick. – Let’s see the goth photo.
– Sure thing. Okay. Alright. That’s not goth.
Dude, you’re wearing… you just have long hair and a—
you look like an extra in American Pie. – Well—
– Dude, if you’re really goth… dude, you gotta prove it. – Wow.
– Prove it with the Goth Test. Andrew, when is World Goth Day? I do not know the answer. May 22! Andrew, how many tattoos
of The Cure do you have? Zero. But I— but I do have pictures of myself
with a very Robert Smith-esque haircut. Okay. Andrew, who’s the biggest poser: your mom, the jocks, your teachers, or D, all of the above? Wow. I hate to throw my mom under the bus,
but I’m going to say D, all of the above. It’s your mom… because she brought you into this world. Wow, that’s very goth. Andrew, bangs should cover: bangs… one eye, both eyes, and at least three piercings, all of the above? – Definitely all of the above.
– That’s right. You’ve got to cover
everything to be truly goth. Last question. Name three brands of eyeliner. Uh, um… Maybelline… Nice. Thank you. Oh my gosh. – Maybelline Super Eyeliner.
– Nooo! Nooo! Maybe I was just a Maybelline guy, you don’t know. Alright, I support that. Alright, that’s the Goth Test. You have some pretty deep cut, weird policies.
Like you have the American Mall Act. Yeah. You want to revitalize malls? What I want to do is I want to, to help
these malls transition to new uses. Yeah. They can become theaters, community centers, – uh, places for religious organizations…
– I say, no, no… – even art installation—
– Don’t— don’t do boring religious stuff. Do this. Do skating rinks plus laser tag. – Sure.
– Remember like, when you were in elementary school, and you had a birthday party at a skate rink?
We don’t do that anymore. Put that in a mall, put laser tag there. – Hey, if that’s what the community wants—
– Sky Zone. You know how like, little kids have the big trampoline
places? It’s just all trampoline? Do that for adults. – Put that in a Sears.
– Wow. These are great ideas. So what we have to do
is we have to help the community. – Dude, that’s— come on. Nah, dude.
– No, listen! – Nah, you shot that down. Like, Andrew—
– I’m being genuine. Nah, dude, be a real politician. Be like Biden.
Be like, “That was great. That was great.” – I’m being genuine.
– And then like, massage me. Like do it that way. – Super Sky Zone in the Sears is a great idea.
– “That was a great idea!” Yeah. We just have to help the communities find new
uses for these spaces so they don’t become sources of blight and depress
property values for miles around. Other weird policy:
The Penny Makes No Cents. You want to get rid of pennies? I do want to get rid of pennies. – Did you start snapping?
– They know. They know. You’re like, “Take ‘em out.” I have some other ones.
Okay. Those little stickers on fruit. Get rid of ’em. Dude, get rid of ’em. On an apple— you ever bit into an apple
and you eat a sticker? – I’m anti-fruit sticker.
– You’re done. – I’m anti-fruit sticker. That’s a great idea.
– Okay, that’s another one. Visors. Visors are done, okay? What are you? What are you? Are you a hat or are you sunglasses?
Make up your mind. ’Cause the only people that wear visors
are NFL head coaches, but that’s it. Wow… the Anti-Visor Act of 2021. Alright, third pitch, just take it. I’m giving it to you. Don’t give me Freedom Dividend, this is just
out of the goodness of my heart. Celery, get rid of it. Like, come on. Unless you just had buffalo wings, am I right? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. But you—
that’s the problem. You have to pair it with something else.
Dude, celery, stand on your own two feet. Celery alone, bad idea, agreed. Yeah, It’s always got to be like,
“Oh, I’m with peanut butter. Don’t throw me away.” Nah, celery. Bring something to the table. Dude, I should be part of the
campaign, like honestly, like… I’m just like… I agree, running mate, running mate in 2020? The all-Asian American ticket! Yeaaaaah! Nah, dude. Nah, dude. You don’t want
a Muslim running with you, bro. Like, I don’t want to fuck up
the situation. You know— You know like, Barack barely made it being black,
but as soon as they were like, “He’s Muslim!” he’s like, “No, I’m not, dude. Come on, man.
I got, I already got one hill to climb here. Don’t, don’t add the M part.” This is like Good Will Hunting where I’m like,
“Hey man, I want you to go places, man.” Remember when Ben Affleck
does that to Matt Damon? – I don’t want you to be with the Ms.
– Aw, that’s touching. – Like, I want you to go places. Alright.
– That’s touching. Now, you want to empower MMA fighters. Um, did you come up with that
after you went on Joe Rogan? – Uh, before.
– Really? Because I’ve been an MMA fan for years, but MMA
fighters get paid only 10 to 15% of the sports revenues. In every other major sport, it’s 50%… – so they’re getting underpaid by 80%.
– Okay, so we actually have an MMA fighter right here. So, yeah… You’re on my side, right? I want you to empower him. Okay, here’s how I would empower him.
First, I’d get behind him. And then I would say, you got this, you got this guy.
He’s nothing to you. He’s nothing. He’s going to feel your power.
He’s going to feel your power. It’s going to make him not want to be here. – That’s how I would empower an MMA fighter.
– I told you, I told you to channel that Biden, baby. – Thank you, brother. You feel powerful, or you feel—
– Oh, way, way powerful. Okay, good, good. Andrew Yang, everybody! – Thank you all. Thank you, brother.
– That was great, man. Thank you, thank you. – Thank you!
– One more time for Andrew Yang. Thank you all. Thank you. Thank you. Andrew Yang!

You May Also Like

About the Author: Oren Garnes

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *