East 17’s Tony Mortimer horror movie Ben Fellows


take a wild guess who that is just ignore it I can’t Graham yeah no I’m aware of that yeah no everything’s
in order see you at 9 yeah OK bye how about quickie before work? maybe what time is it ? 6 something I’ve got to go to the bathroom but hold that though come here don’t even think about it I am serious
– I
have to he won’t stop calling otherwise if you touch that thing I will never sleep with you again I’ve got to Graham ( you blew it big time )I’m sorry it’s OK it’s not a problem I’ll see you later I’ll
meet you outside I’ll bring the coffee OK bye mate can you pass me my shampoo please that’s conditioner shampoo is next to my moisturizer next one
next one good there you go thank you you’re welcome listen can you ask Graham not to call so early it’s really unfair he’s just worried about this morning that’s all the dreaded meeting yeah everyone’s freaking out it’s crazy look I’m serious about him calling you all hours just tell him
your wife’s pregnant and hormonal and she needs her sleep I just don’t want us to live in this tiny
flat forever that’s all especially now you’re pregnant don’t do that you know I don’t care about where we
live I married you for you richer or poorer Poorer it is !that’s another thing why is your father always
asking about buying us a house what’s all that about well maybe you should take him up on his offer you
know he likes spending money on his children that’s all I’m not going to be another one of your father’s acquisitions.Anyway how’s your day? I’m going to the doctors( Why?) I’m having your baby remember and I did ask you if you would come with me it’s
my first appointment you know I’m sorry next time I promise look I’ve got to go okay I’ll see you later
I’ll be home on time I promise okay hi Graham hello (hello Joe?)yeah who’s this?(that isn’t important Joe) listen to me and do exactly as I tell you sorry who’s this? do I know you?your voice sounds familiar? Isn’t digital technology creepy it makes everyone sound
the same?who did you think I was? I’m not good with names what is this? a weird marketing call? Joe I want your undivided attention yeah I’m not interested mate goodbye I need a new phone hello Graham yeah I’m just getting off the DLR now I’ll be there in 20 minutes don’t worry alright mate hello Joe don’t hang up on me again look who is this ? I am the one who’s going to change your entire life yeah well guess what? I like my life exactly the
way it is don’t call this number again muppet hello what (Joe) Kelly I told you not to hang up on me
Joe your wife’s life depends on it what the hell is going on I have your wife and if you follow my instructions
to the letter no harm will come to her however if you get the police involved or tell anyone make no
mistake I will gut your precious Kelly like a fish look if it’s money you want her parents are really rich
they won’t hesitate to pay you just don’t hurt Kelly money doesn’t solve this Joe you don’t mind me calling you Joe?
or is it just reserved for your middle class friends? no no no Joe is fine what have you done with Kelly? you want to get on so do I do you love your wife? of course I love my wife what’s that supposed to mean? well you know Joe so many people say they love their
spouses but when it comes down to it they wouldn’t mind seeing their wife or husband accidentally hit
by a bus on their way to work after all a funeral is so much cheaper than a divorce these days well I’m not like that I’d do anything for my wife really? well let’s see if you can follow my instructions
you have 15 minutes to get back home back home I’m supposed to be in the city I’ve got a
meeting this morning I’ll be fired if I don’t turn up oh life’s full of these little conundrums save your wife or go to
work I know what I’d do but then I’ve never been married Jesus Christ! he won’t help you Jesus isn’t here you now have 14 minutes to get back home deviate in anyway and you’ll be a widower this is all about
trust I trust you and you trust me capisce ? okay I’ll do whatever you want like you ever had a choice that boy I see you’ve made it right you got me here where’s Kelly? all in good time now listen carefully this is a game and if you follow my instructions and do exactly as I ask
you’ll get your wife back safe and sound this evening what game? we’ll get to that shortly in front of you is a bag a very special bag keep that bag with you at all times it contains
some important items which you’re going to need oh and it also contains a GPS tracking device and
a bug so I know where you are lose the bag Kelly dies accidentally leave it
on the train Kelly dies understand? yeah so you agree I have total control over you ? I’m not doing anything until I speak to Kelly please Joe just do as they say otherwise they’re
gonna kill me I love you Joe oh fuck Kelly don’t worry I’m coming so now you’ve heard her in the business we call
that a proof of life don’t you know all right I’ll do whatever you want Kelly’s well being is entirely in your hands okay firstly I want you to open the front pocket of the bag take out the sugar cube all right I’ve done that now what now eat it eat it I ain’t eating anything that’s another thing you won’t do for your wife all right I’ll eat it what is it ? you’re a child of the 70’s you should know what it is it will help you to relax and expand your consciousness man just eat it it tastes like shit how would you know shit eater now I want you to go to Woolwich I’ll
give you 15 minutes to get there 15 minutes that’s not enough time then stop wasting it oh fuck well done you made it now are you listening ? yeah I don’t feel very well Joe concentrate look in the bag you’ll find a clipboard you’re now a surveyor for the council a surveyor ? I know nothing about buildings I’m into marketing whine whine moan be a man Joe you have nothing to complain
about it’s your wife who’s tied up in agony not you I know you don’t have to keep reminding me all
right I’m just feeling a bit emotional right now oh poor you do you want a little cry? no (you sure?) yes grow up you idiot right down to business you’re going to go to number 16 on the road opposite to
you a woman called Misty Parish will answer she’s expecting you you’ll tell her that you need to check her house for signs of subsidence in the
bag is a tape measure and a clipboard to help you look more convincing I’m a crap liar no one’s going to believe me
can’t you find someone else to do this? can’t I find somebody else to do this I can’t do this Joe focus you have 5 minutes to get inside you’ll get further instructions then Can I help you ? Hi Mrs Parish I’m Joe from the council I’ve come
to check your house so think you’re expecting me Well you better come in then So where do you want to start ? Erm to be honest it’s my first day I’m just waiting for
a call from my boss I’m coordinating with him Look why don’t I make you a cup
of tea take a seat okay ? All right lovely yeah Hello ( so you got in then ) Yeah just about what do you want me to do ? Okay look in the bag and take out the bottle Get her to make you a cup of tea and when she’s not looking
slip the liquid into her drink wait until she’s dead then leave Dead ? I ain’t poisoning her I can’t
kill someone I’m not a murderer Why not ? you don’t know her I’m not killing anyone Then say goodbye to your wife(no wait) Well then make a decision either this woman who
you don’t know or Kelly your wife I’ll call you back and let you know what Kelly’s last words
were those things are important to know you know for closure Shit all right listen I’ll do it Think of it like this I don’t care
how you kill her just kill her I thought poison would be the cleanest option for you but if you want
to bash her brains out and go all psycho on her I’ve even given you a hammer in your bag who
am I to stop an artist at work Here we are help yourself to sugar (thanks) Oh I’ve forgotten the biscuits would you like a biscuit ? Yeah if you’re having one yeah So was that your boss on the phone ? Yeah he wants me to start in here and
then uh work my way up stairs Well if you need a hand just give me a
shout I’m quite handy with a tape measure Look perhaps I better get on Well don’t worry if you hear me talking strangely
I have a Tarot Phone line Once you’ve finished I’ll give you a reading if you like Okay I don’t feel very well You okay ? I think I’m gonna be sick I don’t know what’s
happening my heart’s racing I need my pills Can you call me an ambulance please just get me an ambulance Oh God what’s happening ? Where are you running to Joe ? Leave me alone So she’s dead good one down two to go then it’s Kelly time what are you some sick fucking psycho that goes around killing people or getting other people to do it for you cause
you aint man enough to do it yourself you think you’ve got everything figured out don’t you in my line of work it pays to keep a distance
now focus you still have a job to do I can’t I can’t I just killed someone no you haven’t the poison killed her did she
think she was having a heart attack ? yeah it was horrible then she began to shake and foam at the mouth I like
that bit it’s kind of funny don’t you think ? funny? you’re sick death is perfectly natural so now you know what it’s like
to watch somebody die it’s a privilege really everybody marvels at birth they gather around take photos but most people die alone
or riddled by disease you should feel lucky to have seen it lucky? I feel like killing myself then where would you be ? you can’t even tell your own boss to stop calling you you’re not going
to kill yourself you’re not the type don’t worry about that woman because you’ve never worried about anybody outside of your own little bubble before
so why start now? I’ll call you back in 10 minutes Kelly ? can I speak to Kelly ? no I have to go offline for a while I’m just about to make
a man jump off the Golden Gate Bridge to save his baby daughter anyway you’ve got a busy afternoon ahead and you’re going to need
your strength so I suggest you eat something I hear Greenwich has some really nice pubs
I’ll call you back in an hour an hour ? oh yes you get an hour for lunch like everyone else right you’ll
be pleased to know that you’ve put me ahead of schedule this can’t be happening Joe don’t even think about growing a brain remember we have
Kelly who for now is being looked after understand ? how can I forget ? eat something you have low blood sugar levels after this morning’s excitement now you can tell what my body’s doing ? yes you’re becoming sarcastic grumpy your voice sounds down and
you’re answering back like you don’t give a shit you learn to read people in my business what’s that the killing people business very drawl how did you guess what ? eat something yes had a nice lunch ? not really oh well I want you to go to the Princess of Wales Pub in Blackheath you’ll
see a man in his forties reading a newspaper he’s expecting you so don’t worry oh well I want you to go to the Princess of Wales Pub in Blackheath you’ll
see a man in his forties reading a newspaper he’s expecting you so don’t worry and then what ? I’ll call you and give you further instructions I want to speak to Kelly after this gain you’ll get to talk to her not before what am I supposed to do ? kill him as well ? remember Joe it’s either Kelly your wife or some guy you don’t even know if it makes any difference he’s an arms dealer and
a really bad person now be a man sit down I’ve got the new model but they’re selling really fast there’s a sample in
my car a group in Hamburg has just bought 6000 units I’ve armoured personnel carriers which have proved very
effective in cutting down casualties in Rwanda Apache Gun ships fully kitted out though obviously in order to avoid various
arms embargoes I have to export them as search and Rescue helicopters and ship the weaponry separately Tanks RPG’s Uranium tipped
ammunition and two Russian Hunter Killer submarines where do you get it from ? The Ukraine, Belarus armies like putting weapons into a country but they don’t
like taking them away you wouldn’t believe who I’ve sold them to The Americans, North Korea, The Iranians, Israel, Hamas, The Taliban I suppose you’re not a
true importer exporter until you’ve sold weapons that have killed your fellow country men excuse me I’ve got to get this go ahead yes pass the phone over to him tell him it’s the people from the Ukraine it’s for you who is it ? it’s the people from the Ukraine hello yes yes is there any point in trying to explain my side right
right look for the record I’m sorry it wasn’t my fault no problem he wants to speak to you yes okay I’ve just told him to kill you so let’s see who gets who
first use the hammer make it bloody God I love my job come on I’ll show you the goods they’re in the boot of my car yes so how did it go ? he’s dead good I bashed his brains out are you happy ? forget about him I’ve made an appointment for you to see a friend of
mine called Alice she’s going to help you “relax” for a while she’ll be at a café in Blackheath in five minutes you can do anything you
want with Alice I’m giving her to you you now own her have you ever wanted to own anyone it’s a
great feeling unfortunately she’s not a nigger you’re fucking sick remember only you can save your wife enjoy
yourself with Alice I know you will what are we doing ? I’m doing what I’ve been told to It was this morning I’d just dropped my son off at the school gates I got a
phone call to my mobile and a voice saying that my husband had been kidnapped so the same things been happening to you ?
have you had to you know ? kill people yeah you ? I’ve killed four people but I did it for my husband I
mean it’s either people you don’t know or it’s David Alice ? (yes) you’re not here to kill me are you ? (no no ) you ? (no) good so what’s the plan ? what do you mean ? we’re gonna need a plan to get us out of here no
one’s going to believe our story you think about it it’s the truth let’s face it we’re going away for the best part of our
lives we need to get this guy who ever he is I think he’ll want to meet me I could
make him an offer he can’t refuse we need to get our partners back otherwise what’s the point ? we kill the bastard and then we leave the country what about the police ? if we kill him we’re back to
square one we need him alive to back up our story look our lives are over we’ve still killed people once we get
our partners back kill whoever’s doing this and leave the country no where do we go ? we buy four tickets to Egypt anyone can disappear in the desert once we find our partners we go to Heathrow and we’ll leave together we still got 24 hours before they find the bodies so we
should still be able to leave on our own passports so that’s the plan all we have to do is survive this afternoon hello yes yeah I understand yes I’m ready this is it I’ve got to get going let’s do this see you at Heathrow call me when you get there okay do you mind if I sit here? no go ahead do I know you? weren’t you at a
party a couple of weeks ago ? I don’t think so my name’s Joe by the way I’m Kelly nice name sounds like Jelly what? I don’t know I just made this alright look can I be honest ? well you are clearly on a roll you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and I didn’t want to spend
the rest of my life thinking I should have come over and said hello I hate regrets and what’s the worst that could happen ? you could tell
me to go away or we could talk make a date so you wanna go out with me then ? you are single ain’t ya ? yes I am is it written on my forehead ? no just hoping okay so if I were to meet you say for
lunch for instance where would you take me ? feel like I’m on Blind Date there’s only one place to go and that is ? Paris for the day Paris ? just for the day yeah it’s only two hours away by train if you
end up not liking me so be it I’ve always wanted to go to Paris I just think
we should go for a coffee first okay all right when ? well now I just need to make sure that you’re not
a charming psychopath who’s going to murder me other than that I would love to go to Paris just for the day wow you’re amazing yes I am now you pay for coffee let’s go you got a fiva yes Joe guess who ? I have no idea so are you ready ? let’s do this shall we you sound different relaxed more confident could you
be enjoying yourself by any chance ? what’s the job ? okay killer calm down this one’s easy go down by the river at the back of the Millennium Dome you’ll see
a man on the floor with a hood over his face and his hands tied kill him as swiftly as possible and take his wallet and give it to
Alice the next time you see her then it’s Kelly time okay how long have I got ? you’re really getting into this I’m impressed so many people disappointed me it’ll be a
shame to loose you you have 15 minutes no I’ll be generous 20(okay) I’ll contact you with details where to find Kelly you’ve done
good work today Joe you should be proud of yourself go fuck yourself now you’re acting like a man I like it look at me have you come for me ? I live here oh God I’m so sorry I didn’t know I promise please tell me that you haven’t just killed my wife and you just killed my husband the voice promised that if I did what he
told me to do he’d let him go the voice lies what now ? I’m going to see my wife no Joe don’t just leave me alone Joe don’t go in there(Kelly) you shouldn’t go in there Joe it’s me I’m sorry Joe it’s not your fault it’s okay it doesn’t hurt it’s okay we would have had a great life together wouldn’t we ? the best thank you for Paris why ? well why not ? what did you expect ? my wife alive as promised it’s a shame but in life we don’t always get what we want it’s
been interesting Joe say have you guessed who I am yet ? I don’t give a fuck who you are I’m going
to find you and I’m going to kill you from your prison cell how many people have you killed
today Joe? think about it you’re never getting out they’ll throw away the key on you my friend you should
have gone to the police when you had the chance I’m going to find you and I won’t rest until I do
you’re going to rot in hell for what you’ve done you mean for what you’ve done you killed those people not me I’m just a voice
on the end of a phone face it face it you’re a lunatic I’m not mad I’m not mad it’s not possible everything is possible here’s what you should have done the day is Monday September the 10th 2001 by the
time you watch this film I’ll be dead the reason I am telling you this is because I have committed multiple
murders I’m not a cold blooded killer nor am I mad the story I’m about to tell you is the truth the whole
truth and nothing but the truth so help me God it all started with an anonymous call on my mobile phone hey can I get some room service yeah I’m in 1710 eggs
Benedict cup of coffee orange juice yeah OK thanks bye yeah is this Harry Nelson ? yeah who’s this ? who I am isn’t important I have your wife and baby daughter if you don’t
do exactly as I tell you you’ll never see them again understand ? okay what do you want me to do ? I want you to go to Greenwich Village I’ll give you 15 minutes to get there don’t think
about talking to anyone don’t go to the police just do exactly as I tell you if you ever want to see your family again you now have 13 minutes
to get to Greenwich Village get moving the clock is ticking holy shit

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