Don’t Laugh News Challenge: How Goes Gravity Work?

Don’t Laugh News Challenge: How Goes Gravity Work?


– Hi, I still don’t know
what I’m about to say because I’m big stupid idiot. Go to Dropout.tv to start your free trial today. For every episode of
breaking news that’s here, there’s another episode only
available on Dropout TV. Until next time I’m Grant O’Brian, which is Irish for Grant Of Brian. (laughing) – [Producer] From West
Hollywood California, the only news team that doesn’t know what’s on the teleprompter
before they read it. Anyone who laughs or breaks loses points. This is, Breaking News. – Turns out it wasn’t a dog after all – Oh really? – I know I don’t know what it is. – Bet it got locked in the bathroom – Good evening and
Welcome to Breaking News. The show where we don’t
know what we’re about to say and we’re not allowed to smile or laugh. I’m Gillian Goldensocks. – And I’m Bethany Trash. (laughs) A new climbing gym has
opened here in town, and the city’s soft weak
hipsters are cheering. – [Gillian] Climbing
gyms are all the rage in neighborhoods that have a Sweetgreen. They answer the question, “What if crossfit was somehow
more unsafe and more douchey?” – Members at Downtown
Boulders can climb walls up to 25 feet tall, instead
of going outside ever. Why would anyone climb free, real, rocks when they could climb wooden ones for $175 a month. – [Gillian] Make no mistake,
climbing is bad exercise. It works like three muscles
and it moves really slowly. That guy from that movie Free Solo? Alex Honnold? I bet most
people could kick his a**. – Downtown Boulders is a
part of the mayor’s new River walk Initiative, which brings new businesses to the ugly
river of our lame city. (giggles) You see the same thing in
other second rate towns like Cincinnati, Austin and San Diego. – The Riverwalk will have a Bucca Di Beppo to stink up the whole place with garlic, and a dueling piano bar called the The Big Bang for anyone
who loves Billy Joel music, but wishes he told more d*** jokes. – [Bethany] There will also be Giggles, an improve comedy theater. For anyone who hasn’t seen
live improve, it’s a must. It’s a whole (laughs) It’s a whole show of nervous 30 year olds trying desperately to out joke each other. And everyone is so, so doughy. – You know I used to do comedy. – Oh yeah? Tell me a joke. – Well have you ever seen the one about a banana that goes outside into a green, green, green, field? – Have I seen that joke? – It’s a video. – [Bethany] Oh. – Have you seen it? – No. – It’s really funny. – Yeah, sounds funny. (laughs) – We now go to Mavis Martin, who met with the winner of the Finn Wolfhard Elementary School Science Fair. – Thanks Bethany, I had
quite a morning talking to these little geniuses. – I’ll bet Mavis, who won? – It was a little boy
named Micheal Doonsbury. He designed an experiment with
a potato gun about gravity. I don’t remember much about
it because I was distracted. He’s one of those little boys
who you just know is gonna be gay.
– Oh. – [Mavis] It was adorable,
you know the type. He’s 8 and I thought he was going to dislocate a hip from swishing so hard. – Cute! – [Mavis] He kept doing that
thing where he delicately pulls his bangs over the side
with his ring finger. He was kind of doing
duck face the whole time. – [Gillian] Terrific, did
you meet any other children? – Well I met his friends, they
were of course, all girls. – Naturally. – [Mavis] I feel bad for
them because they’re all going to be in love with
him, until he comes out. – Oh yes, they like that
he’s non-threatening and they don’t know why. – Exactly, big BTS posters
on all of their walls, I just know it. They’ll all be on the lighting crew of the high school play together. – Mavis, did he ever
explain how gravity works? – Not really, honestly I
don’t know how it works, do you?
– No I don’t. Bethany do you know how gravity works? – I know the basics, but
the specifics allude me. – Me too.
We’re going to go oh- (laughs) We’re going to go to
reporter Susan Pershing for information on a man
hunt underway downtown. Susan, are you with us? – I am Gillian. – Susan rather than tell
us about the man hunt, can you explain in
detail, how gravity works? – Certainly, so gravity is
a force that operates at negative .8 meters per second
squared and it is what keeps us grounded into the earth. It is basically a mysterious
kind of thick mist – [Susan] that we all walk
through everyday and kind of gradually as we age, it
tapes us further, further down into the earth, so the older you are, the less likely you are to fly away. – Oh, hmm,
well that’s interesting. Say more about that. – Oh and I will (laughs) – [Susan] So you know how I
mentioned its like a thick mist, scratch that, its like the
biggest blanket you’ve ever seen. Picture a blanket, now double it. That’s what I’m talking
about, so thick you can barely move through it. Imagine walking through
a big bowl of fudge, you can barely move right? That’s what gravity is doing to you. The only people who say
they’ve really experienced what its like to feel free,
have been in outer space, and usually died. – Is acceleration connected
to or independent of gravity? – Hmm, what wonderful question. – [Susan] I think its
independent of gravity but f*** if I know, you know what I mean? – [Susan] If I had to
guess, I would say that acceleration is sort of
like when you’re traveling through that same blanket,
or fudge that we were talking about, really fast. So that would be the difference. Traveling really fast,
versus traveling really slow. – Why is that? – Well you see the (laughs) – [Susan] You see, wow
you’re curious today, (laughs) you see when acceleration– – The kid didn’t answer me so
we’ll need to hear from you. – [Susan] Oh interesting all right okay. So I do remember from what,
whatever I’m reporting on, which is a crime, right? – [Susan] But acceleration
is what velocity over time or something? And that’s what’s
interesting about it because, other than that, no one really knows, aside from my fudge analogy
and that little thing. – That all sounds right to me. – [Susan] Oh, good! – That’s all for us but before we go, this weeks loser is Mary Holland. What a shmuck. – Hey thanks for watching. (laughs) – [Gillian] (laughs) thanks for watching. – Just giving up. (laughs) – [Producer] Breaking news, this just in. You have just watched another episode of, Breaking News, there are
10 episode only available on Dropout.TV, go to
Dropout.TV and start your free trial today.

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About the Author: Oren Garnes

100 Comments

  1. I ice how everyone else needs to say ridiculous things while Rhekha is just improvising and explaining gravity. She sounds so much smarter compared to what the others are forced to say

  2. I love watching this show for the cast not knowing what they are going to say next and being caught off guard from what they have to say next.
    This is the first to dissapoint me because the improv for this format doesnt work.

  3. Idk what it was, but this episode is probably the only boring episode in the whole series. I think it was the dialogue on the teleprompter. Like whoever wrote this episode did not do a good job, and I'm disappointed.

  4. am i the only one who actually uses dropout? i never see comments about it but shit kinda slaps, i use it as often as netflix

  5. Who wrote this one? The only part that made me laugh was Rehka’s gravity explanation. It feels like they’ve toned down all of the jokes in it. They’re even censoring the swears.

  6. OMG I ACTUALLY WATCHED GRANTS PART BECAUSE IT WAS AT THE BEGINNING NOW LMFAO. The team who made that decision to switch the placement….

  7. Lauren's joke killed me.
    "Have I /seen/ it?"
    "Well, yeah, it's a video."
    That purely improvised moment makes me laugh the hardest I've laughed during these.

  8. Seems like you guys are getting fed up with doing this bit.. But you know what your scumbag fanbase is going to tell you regardless..MORE

  9. I lost it when they reported a new bocca de bippa restaurant that would "stink the whole area up with garlic". If only someone said something like that on the real news.

  10. Physics 1: Forces, Moments, Vectors, and THICC MIST
    Physics 2: It's all a blanket
    I bet that manslaughterer is the most interested in this lesson.

  11. Yo, does the teleprompter writer live in Claremont? Lol. It sounds exactly like they were talking about it at the beginning

  12. Hey. I see that the Riverwalk picture was of the San Antonio Riverwalk. I don't know who put that there but it's wrong. Only real San Antonians can trash talk their city, not you, you tard. San Antonio is the best city in Texas and yes I'm saying that because I live there. Don't trash our ugly little river that's filled with ugly ducks and fatass tilapia

  13. I love how Im watching Lucifer for the second time (with my gf since she hasn't seen it) and I just watched the 1 episode that Lauren Lapkus is in and then happen to watch this video

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