Civ 5: A Barbarian Has Captured Your Worker

Civ 5: A Barbarian Has Captured Your Worker


[Barbarian Angry Mumbles] [sarcastically]
Oh, God! A barbarian! Ah, what a way to go! He’s capturing me… Everybody should just go back to what they were doing and not worry about it– Go. Go. I’m right behind you, go.
[Barbarian mumbles] [Civ 5 Barbarian Notification Sound Effect] [Barbarian Mumbles]
Worry not, my friend! I will remove this blight from our land
immediately! No! No, no, no, no… I mean… You don’t wanna do that! You know? Get in a fight with him? Getting cut with that sword… – Don’t be absurd! I’m a soldier of Cheeseland, and it is
my sworn duty and my honor to ensure that every civilian stays safe within
its borders. Yeah, thanks. Thanks! Thank you… …for your service. But I’m just not worth it, you know? I’m really not. I mean, my work has been slipping… I haven’t been meeting my farm quotas,
and whenever I make a road lately, It just looks like a giant tried to
scribble one last message before he was murdered– I’d be better just to let him take me, honesty. Are you trying to escape?
– No! No! I love… Cheeseland. I mean, I wouldn’t work on behalf of an
immortal dictator for 12,000 years unless I thoroughly enjoyed it. Unless I was being forced into never-ending slavery, And it’s definitely one of those; I don’t think it matters which one. Very well then. Wow! Wow! You don’t wanna do THAT. Because… because they’ll swarm. You know, I mean, barbarians: you kill
one, the rest… Blunder in, tear stuff up, just everywhere, uughh. Like insects. – Humph!
But big! Beefier! Like, big… beefy insects. [Barbarian angry mumbles]
Yeah! Yeah. The ones… They’re out there! Watching us… They’ll be all over the place. You know, grunting.
– You understood that?! Uh, yeah, yeah. I took a few years of… Uh, uh… Barb… -barish… in college. No, I’m sorry, I’m not getting away with that, There are no schools in that city. It’s a terrible place. [Barbarian War Cry]
NO NO NO, WAIT! [Gunshot] At ease, civilian! You may return to your work in peace!
– Yeah. [sarcastically] Yeah!… He’s got some nice clothes on, actually, you know? The whole “rough” look?… popular… Wonder where he got ’em… [whispering] Which way is your village? [whispering] Thanks. Hey! ♫ “Living Forever” by JP De Ovando ♫

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About the Author: Oren Garnes

12 Comments

  1. So…true….
    With nation, the worker would be tilling the soil, cutting the trees, building roads, etc etc a never ending work.
    With barbarian…they are just…chilling at the fortress…

  2. hahaha I never let my worker go away to far because I expand my territory faster 😉 when I stop to expand, I have borders with other civilization or natural stop (Mountains, maybe seas or lake sometimes) and there are no more barbarian on all the map
    And : "I mean I wouldn't work for an immortal dictator for 12.000 years", I'm not, I always selected democratic politics. And game only have nearby 6.000 years 😉

  3. I LOVED the mod that allowed people to migrate at 1 Pop per turn from empires they hated they Loved.

    Just keep the Pop Happy and it'd be double digit growth the whole game, plus all the science bonuses ect.

  4. This explains a little moment of historical materialism. The current formation may provide worse life than the previous. For example, peasants in the developed feudalism have better life than workers in the developing capitalism. And workers in the developed capitalism have better life than workers in the developing socialism/communism.

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