Body language, the power is in the palm of your hands | Allan Pease | TEDxMacquarieUniversity

Body language, the power is in the palm of your hands | Allan Pease | TEDxMacquarieUniversity


Translator: Bob Prottas
Reviewer: Ariana Bleau Lugo Good morning. Before we kick off
let’s get a bit of light in the room. So I can see the faces of the dummi — the participants that we get later
and see where you are. That’s a bit better. Good. Everybody hold your right hand in front
like this in a handshaking position. Uncross your legs. Relaxed position.
Right hand in front. When I say “Now”
here’s what we’re going to do. You’ll turn to someone besides you shake hands as if meeting
for the first time and keep pumping till I ask you to stop. Then you’ll stop and freeze it and we’re going to analyze
what’s happening. You got that? No time to think about this.
Do it now. Pick anybody and pump.
Pump, everybody. Pump! Pump! Pump! Freeze it. Hold it.
Stop. Hold it. Freeze it. Keep your hands locked. Keep them locked. Person’s whose hand
is most on top is saying I’ll be the boss for the rest of the day. (Laughter) And when you meet people
for the very first time the first 4-minutes
of meeting a new person you decide pretty much
80% of your attitude about it, don’t you? You decide in the first 4-minutes
of meeting somebody if you’ll give them a fair go, a fair
hearing or if you’re going to reject them. The first thing is likely to happen
is a handshake. And I’m going to try a couple
in the front row here. You get one of three feelings
when you lock hands with people. First thing is — it feels pretty good. I think you and I will get on pretty well. I think we could do business together. We’re going to get on well. That was a good one.
Let’s try a second one. Okay. (Laughter) Just check my cash,
see if it’s all still there, yeah. Felt a bit intimidated there. Let’s try the third one. Yes, she’ll do anything I want. Won’t you? (Laughter) Actually you all had roughly
the same handshake. But you do get one of three gut feelings.
It has to do with two things. One, the angle of the hand,
second, the power of the hand. I’ll demonstrate.
This gentleman in the front row. Can you join me up here please? Yes? The fellow looking concerned.
(Applause) Come up here. Here’s your modern western handshake.
Here’s how it looks. It’s been in this position
for about 2,000 years. If you go back 4,000 years
to the Roman era, on vases you would have seen it
looking like this. That’s the original position.
It has several significances. So the troop leaders would meet
after battle or training. They’re always men, so this has remained
a male activity until recent times. When they would meet they would do this. If his arm was stronger
it would go like this. And you’d then say
“He’s got the upper hand.” Upper hand is an ancient Roman expression. If he’s got the upper hand,
his guys get the first crack at the wining, the dining and the dancing.
My guys have to wait. If it goes the other way
my guys get first crack. If it’s in the middle it’s 50/50. This was originally done squatting.
Now we do it standing. So the fingers are below the wrist
instead of above. But essentially, we have the same position. So when the hands lock
if his hand is slightly on top — doesn’t have to be right on top,
just a little bit. I’ll get a feeling, at a gut level,
and we think this is hard wired because you’ve never been trained
to decode this. But I get a feeling
he’s coming on a bit heavy. It feels like, yeah,
I think I get dominated here. If it goes the other way, I feel like I got this sucker
all lined up, haven’t I? How do you create rapport
with a handshake? Here are the two rules.
First keep your hand absolutely straight. Second this takes a bit of practice,
particularly if you’re female. Give the same pressure you receive. So on a scale of 1 to 10. Let’s say that 10 is a really strong one, and a 1 is four breakfast sausages. Okay? Now let’s try it again. Okay, on a scale of 1 to 10,
yours is about a 7. Mine’s about a 7 too.
Therefore, it felt pretty good. Neither got the upper hand,
the dominant hand. And that’s why at a gut level
we both felt pretty good. I can see the look on your face.
That felt okay. Yeah, that felt good. Yeah, that’s very good. What happens if you meet someone
who’s got — This time you’re going to give me
a 9 and I’ve only got a 7. So give me a 9 on intention. Now the hand
will go straight on top. I’ve got to respond with an extra 20%
just to level it up. If I don’t, he’s going to have
one up on me before we start. He’ll know it and I’ll know it,
but not a word’s been said. Makes sense? Give him a round of applause.
Thank you. (Applause) There are more connections between
your brain and the palm of your hands then any other body part.
Did you know this? More connections between the brain
and the palm of the hands. Including men, ladies,
then any other body part. So clearly, the palms have evolved
as an important part of human brains. And they are. They make your bed.
They brush your hair. They do small artwork.
They do handshakes. They play the piano. They do more things
than most other body parts. But here’s my question to you.
When you’re dealing with people where you want to persuade them,
convince them, get them on your side, you want them to say “Yes”
to whatever you’re proposing. Whether it’s that job, or a date,
or just get your idea accepted. Where are your palms as you’re talking? This is something that most people
have never considered. Never. After this session you’ll consider it,
you’ll think about it. Later today you’ll start to realize
why people respond to you Here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to say the same thing
three times. I’m going to change
only what I do with the palms of my hands. I’ll keep my body fairly still,
so I’m not using any other body signals. And I’ll keep my voice
as close to the same as I can. I say as close as I can because
when you change your body language, it’s hard wired to your brain
to change how you sound. I’ll try to keep it as close as I can. And I’ll use exactly the same words.
Same instruction 3 times. Your task is to decide. Do you accept what I’m saying,
or do you reject me? You want to fight me or go along with it? You want to say Yes or No? Okay, clear on this? Here we go. First instruction, don’t do this.
Just imagine what we’re going to do. In a moment I’ll ask the people
sitting in these seats here, I’ll ask you to sit on this side
of the room, please. And I’ll invite the people here
to take their seats. Those in the back
come forward to the front. And those in the front
can sit anywhere you choose. Raise your hand if you feel okay
about what I’m asking. Who’s Okay? Raise your hand. Just about all of you
are prepared to do what I want. You don’t even know what that is.
But you’re prepared to do what I want, because you feel like
I won’t threaten you, I won’t intimidate you. While it might look a bit silly,
this could be a bit of fun. That’s what our mind’s thinking. I used a signal that appealed
to your ancient brain. Let’s try the 2nd instruction. Same words.
Same voice. Changing only the palms. I’ll ask the people sitting on this side I’ll invite you to take these seats. The people here can sit over here. Those at the back come forward please. And those at the front
can sit anywhere they like. Give me a word that goes with this.
What are you feeling, a word? Feel like you’re getting an order? Raise your hand if you got an order. Are you telling me that all I have to do
is change my palms from an upward position where you wanted to do anything I wanted
without question. I’ve turned them over
and now you say to yourself, Hang on a minute,
this guy is giving me an order. Well, maybe I don’t want to do that. I’m an independent. I’ll just check it all out. Make me laugh, funny guy. So now many of you are resisting?
Let’s try the third approach. I’ll ask the people sitting in these seats if you come sit on this side please. And those people can sit here. The back of the room, you can
come forward please. Sit here. And those in the front
can go anywhere you like. Give me a word that goes with this. And not a gesture, a word. (Laughter) I guess that was a word. What are you feeling with this? This is more than an order.
This is a directive. You have not choice and you’re an idiot. So we tested this in a very simple way. We got an audience
to sit in a room like this. We got a speaker to present a proposal. In 20 minutes they had to convince
the audience to agree with the proposal. The speaker was instructed
to do the same thing 3 times with 3 audiences same demographics
we just changed the audiences. The first time the speaker spoke
primarily using palm up position. That’s how the proposal worked.
Here’s the bottom line. It would work for you, sir. It would work in Australia and in America. That’s the way they did the 1st proposal. We moved that audience
and put a 2nd audience in there. Same presentations given
to the same demographics, but a different audience, using palm down. Here’s how the deal works. It would work for you and you. It would work in the United States
and in Iceland. Move that audience, put in a 3rd one, they get the same presentation
using finger pointing. Here’s the way it works
and the bottom line. It will work for you, you and you.
And America, Australia and Africa. Now we survey all three audiences
looking for two things. First, w/ a simple test, how much
can they recall what the deal was about? We were looking for how much
were they listening to the deal as opposed to judging the speaker. Secondly, from a list of adjectives
they were asked to pick those that best described
how they feel about the speaker. You reckon there was any difference? You already know the answer, don’t you? You know the answer already
without ever seeing the results. That the palm up speaker
had up to 40% more retention of the deal than the palm down speaker. Palm up speaker had the best adjectives, laid-back, friendly, humorous, engaging. Palms turned over, authoritative,
telling me what to do, pushy. When the finger came out,
nobody could remember much and they got the worse adjectives
about that person. Now here’s my question for you. What’s you prominent position? You have a dominant position
of one of these and which is yours? People never considered. But you’ve got one that you’re using
when you’re dealing with others. Now is it up, is it over, is it finger? We know the palm down,
historically, is a power signal. There’s 4 times more power
in your hands facing down then up. I think the famous example
is Adolph Hitler. The Nazi salute with “Heil Hitler”.
It freightened everybody. How would he have gone
if he had gone Heil Hitler? (Laughing) Nobody’s going to follow Heil Hitler. That’s scary, that’s submission. Here’s the good news about this. You can change and modify
your hand signals with a little practice. When you first start to do this — What happens if later today or tonight you suddenly discover
you’re a finger pointer? You’re talking with your friends
and you’ve forgotten this session. They’re watching your hand
and there it is hitting these silly idiots on the head
knocking them into submission. The thing about body language, it’s an outward reflection
of your emotional condition. All body language shows
is how you’re feeling. Whatever attitude or emotional you’re
feeling is likely to be reflected in gesture, movement or posture. Now the reverse is true as well. If you intentionally take
certain positions or postures, you’ll start to feel the emotions
that go with it. For example, everybody copy this. Like a form of praying,
just lightly tap it back and forth. Put a little smile on your face.
No teeth. Call that your attitude.
How do you feel when you do this? Yeah, you’re hatching a good plan. You’re pretty smart. You are in charge. The word for this is confidence. If you’re feeling confident,
like I know what I’m talking about. I’m in charge. I’m an expert. This one that may appear.
You may unconsciously use it. But if you intentionally use this in situations where you’re feeling tense
or nervous, it does two things. First, when you intentionally
make the gesture as you just did you start to feel more confident,
in charge. (Sighs)
I’m in charge of my emotions. Importantly, the person who sees you do it,
gets a feeling you seem to know what you’re about. You know, when I first met that guy
or that woman, they just seem to have
a confident attitude. Well no, they’re probably intentionally
doing this to create that — to reassure themselves
and to make you feel good. Fake it until you make it. If you keep doing this
as part of your repertoire eventually when you do this,
you will feel confident about what you’re talking about,
even when you don’t. So you can go into politics. (Laughter) Here’s my question for you. What is your dominant position?
Palm up, palm over or finger pointing? Think about life today,
business and personal relationships. It’s all first about people.
Does somebody buy you? If somebody buys you,
particularly the first 4-minutes, they’re forming up to 90%
of their opinion about you. If they buy you, there’s a good chance
they’ll buy whatever goes with you. What goes with you
is what you want them to do. The other thing is also true. If they don’t buy you, they’re not going
to buy whatever goes with you. Even if it’s a good idea. Without that connection,
they feel that you don’t like them, or you’re threatening or intimidating. Suddenly, they just don’t want to say yes
to whatever you’re suggesting, even if this is a good idea. So you can practice palms up
where you want to get cooperation. Sometimes you might want
a bit of authority. You’ll turn the palms over. If the fire alarm went off
in this building, I would say, “Now here’s what we’re going to do.
We’re going to go by that exit — I wouldn’t say, “Here’s what we
need to do. We’re —” Because it would be
every man for himself if I did this. So, by intentionally practicing positions–
suddenly, with the palm up, you’ll find that people start feeling
like they’re drawn to you. In fact as we’ve been talking I’ve been doing the Obama hug. We want to help the Americans. We want you to come here. Yeah, we love you.
Like your Mom or Dad cuddling you. Like his predecessor who said We want to help everybody.
We want to help. You, you and you! Body language
is an outward reflection of emotions. If you intentionally take
certain positions and practice them, it suddenly changes
how people perceive you and it changes your own physiology. You start to feel different
about yourself. That’s the great thing. You can do things on purpose which gives you a better chance
of getting a “Yes” to the job, to the proposal, to the idea,
to the date. Or better. (Applause)

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About the Author: Oren Garnes

100 Comments

  1. Did he say “4000 years to the Roman era”? Bruh…even if the Aeneid is to be believed and the Romans are descendants of the Trojans you’d still be talking about miss them by a thousand years.

  2. 🤝Thank you😊
    I enjoyed watching this. I also agreed with what he said.. I will pay attention to my body language meow..
    His hands did make me feel a certain way when he pointed it out & used them open or dominate…
    I love absorbing stuff like this
    Thank you👉 Sir🤝 …

  3. There are also indirect ways to come to this observation – for instance, if, in general, you strive for equal relationships with people, learning to interact in this way will be something you figure out through trial, error, and feeling out how each interaction (and considering how the actions of others feel). Part of me wants to say, however, that if your intent and how you really feel contradicts your body language, it will eventually become apparent. On the other hand, maybe it's possible that mimicking the correct body language can also change your attitude sincerely. Difficult to say for sure.

  4. oh, I get it !!! So the most dominant position is a pointing index finger with palm facing down. Time to be a leader then

  5. I wonder if people like this ever consider jumping off a bridge with all the nonsense they talk about? Do they ever feel bad?

  6. I've always made it a point in my life not to use body language or hand motions so I dont use any of them ;d tho I think when I'm on a sugar high or drunk I'm open handed palm up

  7. I wanted to point out that Rome was founded in the 8th century BC. So, it is evident that Roman age started much later than 4,000 years ago, when early Greek civilization didn't exist. Around 2000 BC Minoan society was flourishing, the first palaces in Crete were being built, Sumerians were overwhelmed by the Assyrians and Middle Kingdom in Egypt was starting to fall. In that far far age, the Italian peninsula was inhabited by tribes living in small villages. Thus, stating that Roman civilization already existed 4000 years ago is highly incorrect and shouldn't appear in an informative video.
    For what concerns the rest of the video, nice topic! It was very interesting.

  8. body language is BS, the baseline is impossible to establish within a margin of error, and even if you could there are no behaviour metrics that apply to the individual, they apply the the statistical public, which is not about a real person

  9. The most important thing about this body language talk is that it is 90% intuitive. We pick up on gestures, body statue, expression and mimic by nature, and if you just force yourself to do certain moves or behaviours, it will likely feel awkward to the recipient because it doesn't mirror the instinctive perception. It's why you can tell if someone is phony instantly. You might train do act a certain way in some respects, but your overall output of information will not match up.
    This is why a normal sane person wants to barf up their last meal listenting to a PC speech by any politician. They're so trained in body language and posture, they blindly repeat the "positive" outputs body wise, while not being aligned with what they're actually saying…
    While someone being genuinly truthful will gain favor.

  10. This is a good talk.
    The guy had a great sense of humor, straight direction for his listeners and the topic was very informative and helpful which could help people to have a better understanding, a better way of socially interacting. ^^

  11. Allan and his lovely SO are so knowledgeable and they can transfer this knowledge in so approachable way! 🙂

  12. A hand shake is a person's character right there. A limp soft slippery fish style effort is not a good start.

  13. Tôi thật tệ tiếng anh. Muốn hiểu ông ấy nói gì…. Ước gì có vietsub đạ tạ đa tạ !!!!
    Xem mấy video lúc trẻ có vietsub mà thấy vui. Giờ nhìn tóc ông ấy bạc trắng mà ngấn lệ… Tiếc cho 1 tài năng sắp hết thời gian cống hiến.

  14. for a second I thought he was the fellow from hogans heroes…. and family feud …. Richard Dawson, although, he's dead now I think?

  15. some peoples body language is handicapped they cant smile or raise their eyebrows even if they wanted to. discrimination happens when you rely on body language, listen to what people say, listen to their spirit.

  16. How in the name of God are people able to communicate in this type of English is one of the greatest mysteries of mankind. I only caught "body language" like in 8:30 min :D.

  17. Id like to see his analysis on Mr Trumps body language, and how he attained his goals in the opposite way of Obama.

  18. Sir, 

      I've been a great fan of yours from the very teenage since when I developed an interest in psychology. last days, a  friend of mine asked me for a suggestion to join a network marketing business in the firm known as Qnet (she revealed the name later). Initially, I hesitated as this type of businesses dont hold a good reputation in the market. This type of businesses lure the youths by showing them dreams of a lavish future in a short period. As soon as I came to know that they are using books written by you during their training program, as such, I gave her my consent  and she joined that so called business. Now I've  come to know that your popularity, brand, experience, practice, theories and tricks are being used in a very negative manner to influence the young minds to bring them in this business. Once the person invest their money (minimum half million of rupees), there is no escape for them as they were asked to entrap more persons in the same manner they were trapped by false promises of becoming multi millionaire in no time. This girl I'm talking about was not allowed to sleep more than 2 hours in a day and was brain-washed so strongly and tactfully that she didnt gave me any hint about this cheap business. When she failed to make the chain and lost her hard earned money to them, She broke away mentally and physically. She is in a state of trauma now and under debt of millions of rupees as she isn't able to work now due to depression and anxiety. I feel myself guilty for her. Since they use your name I also fell in their trap. Sir, here I'd like to mention that, had they not used your name and your books it wouldn't have happened. Now in order to save the precious money and time of more young people, I request you to look into the matter personally and disassociate your name from these type of agencies, who are using your name to trap a large number of people in our society. And also announce the same on public platforms. I'm m very much sure that you will take this matter seriously and take proper legal action against such fraudsters. Looking hopefully to you. 

    Thanks and regards.

  19. I didn't even realise I was a palm up person and that it was a good thing until I saw this video, I rather saw it as a defect to use my hands so much while talking. Thanks, this made me feel better about myself

  20. I came from watching a video about the pythagorean theorem KJSND time to use palms up in explaining to my mom why i failed my math test

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