Marriage expert John Gottman can sit with newly engaged couples for 15 minutes or less and predict with 94% success the likelihood of whether that couple will be happily married or miserable and divorced. What is his secret? How does he do it? He says the key to relationship success does not lie in candlelight dinners. It is not found in trips to Paris or horse and carriage rides under moonlit skies. It is not found in getting your partner a different gift every other week. And it is not found during long walks on the beach. Gottman says the most important factor for a happy marriage is: attention. Small moments of positive attention. When I heard this I thought about my mom. See when I was 6 she told me that it was the little things that make the big difference. And as I look back on my parents failed marriage, I see that it was those little things that eventually became non-existent. And if you’re watching this now then I know it sounds reminiscent cause it is all too common today on this planet that we take each other for granted. We don’t know what we have until it’s gone. We lose touch with those who mean so much by neglecting the things that are so small. Now look if you want a book a limousine with a mariachi band inside to take your sweetheart on a helicopter ride, that’s fine but I have to mention none of that compares to giving your consistent undivided time and attention. Because lasting love, as Gottman said, is all about the small stuff. It’s about looking to your partner and telling them, “I love the way your hair looks in the morning.” It’s about sending a random “I miss you” text to tell them that they’re in your heart and on your mind. It’s about when they call you during the day, does your voice light up like a dream come true? Or does your tone sound like you’ve got better more important things to do? It’s about choosing praise over blame. It’s about holding the hand when you know they are afraid and you might be too but you say, “I’m here It’s gonna be okay.” It’s about pressing pause on your favorite show so they can tell you about their day. It’s about making up funny nicknames. It’s about complementing a new hairstyle. It’s about notice in the funny way their lips curl up when they smile. It’s about the simple things like remembering that no matter how hard it gets or how much you argue you’re on the same team. It’s about the simple bliss of watching a movie cuddled up in the bed. It’s the gentle kiss right on the forehead. It’s about the eye contact at the breakfast table. Where due to the light hitting them at a certain angle, you notice a different shade or texture of their eyes. It’s about those tight hugs from behind. It’s about choosing to be kind instead of right all the time. It’s the small gestures to show them, they are truly treasured. It’s not about the fancy dress up dance clubs because slow dancing in the kitchen wearing sweatpants is way better. It’s about being weirdos together. It ain’t always about making the heart melt. It’s about getting them a glass of water when you get one for yourself. And yes I realize that with so many extravagant celebrity weddings for some people this may sound like trash but if your partner doesn’t feel seen, appreciated or listened to without fear of judgement, then what kind of partnership do you have? It is said that three billion people in the world will go to bed hungry tonight and there are 4 billion who will go to bed hungry for a single word of love and appreciation. If you have a malnourished partner, loved one or friend then please listen. I want you to feed them small acts of love and attention and now is a good time to start. Because it truly is the small moments of our lives that take up the biggest part of our hearts.

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About the Author: Oren Garnes


  1. I'm literally crying watching this video. And I don't know why. We are engaged already and getting married next year. We just love each other so much and can't wait to live together ❤️

  2. I’m engaged to the love of my life.. having a winter wedding in a couple months. I never saw myself getting married. I never saw myself having kids. Since I’ve met him it’s all changed. I’ve never been with a man who truly respects me and cares for me as much as he does. I was physically and mentally abused in my last 2 relationships… It doesn’t seem real sometimes, but I finally found a man who treats me the way I deserved to be treated all along. I won’t ever let him go and I’m truly thankful. I hope everyone finds that someone who treats them amazing as well.

  3. I think its very difficult to find a partner in your twenties. You need to have lived a little and have some life experience.

  4. We slow dance on the dock in the dark of night to music that reminded us of each other, give each other kisses on forehead just because, text each other ‘I miss you’ when we are only steps away from each other.

    Being in a long distance relationship is hard but every moment I’ve spent with my fiancé is every moment that I cherish and watching this video made me realize that in so many more ways! Absolutely love this video💞

  5. I was reluctant at first about finding the truth about my cheating wife but I’m glad I finally took the courage for it and now I believe the saying that “The Truth Will Set You Free” cos I feel better and free now after knowing the truth. I got help from Cyberhackinggenius as he helped cloned my cheating wife’s phone and I got access to all her phone messages both deleted texts and social media chats without touching her phone. I’m glad to uncover her lies, secrets and Infidelity. All I did was share my wife’s phone number with Cyberhackinggenius and I was able to read her recent and deleted messages from my phone through a programmed link shared to me without touching her phone and she has no idea her phone has been cloned. I discovered that my wife has been in a long term affair outside our marriage and it was very painful finding out I’m not the biological father of our last child. I’m finalizing my divorce with so many proofs and she is still in a complete shock about my findings. You can contact this great Hacker Gavin via Gmail (cyberhackinggenius) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp : +19256795146.

  6. Tamara's comment is a cry for attention- super annoying and probably the reason she doesn't have a boyfriend

    edit: I bet she posted that comment and actually does have a boyfriend

    … sorority sorrow so annoying

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  8. Marriage between man and wife in honorable, in the eye's of the Almighty except between two men, if you knew the dishonor of this you would not promote it

    Levitcus 18:1
    1Then the LORD said to Moses, 2“Speak to the Israelites and tell them: I am the LORD your God. 3You must not follow the practices of the land of Egypt, where you used to live, and you must not follow the practices of the land of Canaan, into which I am bringing you. You must not walk in their customs.

    4You are to practice My judgments and keep My statutes by walking in them. I am the LORD your God. 5Keep My statutes and My judgments, for the man who does these things will live by them.a I am the LORD.

    6None of you are to approach any close relative to have sexual relations.b I am the LORD.

    7You must not expose the nakedness of your father by having sexual relations with your mother. She is your mother; you must not have sexual relations with her.

    8You must not have sexual relations with your father’s wife; it would dishonor your father.

    9You must not have sexual relations with your sister, either your father’s daughter or your mother’s daughter, whether she was born in the same home or elsewhere.

    10You must not have sexual relations with your son’s daughter or your daughter’s daughter, for that would shame your family.

    11You must not have sexual relations with the daughter of your father’s wife, born to your father; she is your sister.

    12You must not have sexual relations with your father’s sister; she is your father’s close relative.

    13You must not have sexual relations with your mother’s sister, for she is your mother’s close relative.

    14You must not dishonor your father’s brother by approaching his wife to have sexual relations with her; she is your aunt.

    15You must not have sexual relations with your daughter-in-law. She is your son’s wife; you are not to have sexual relations with her.

    16You must not have sexual relations with your brother’s wife; that would shame your brother.

    17You must not have sexual relations with both a woman and her daughter. You are not to marry her son’s daughter or her daughter’s daughter and have sexual relations with her. They are close relatives; it is depraved.

    18You must not take your wife’s sister as a rival wife and have sexual relations with her while your wife is still alive.

    19You must not approach a woman to have sexual relations with her during her menstrual period.

    20You must not lie carnally with your neighbor’s wife and thus defile yourself with her.

    21You must not give any of your children to be sacrificedc to Molech, for you must not profane the name of your God. I am the LORD.

    22You must not lie with a man as with a woman; that is an abomination.

    23You must not lie carnally with any animal, thus defiling yourself with it; a woman must not stand before an animal to mate with it; that is a perversion.

    24Do not defile yourselves by any of these practices, for by all these things the nations I am driving out before you have defiled themselves. 25Even the land has become defiled, so I am punishing it for its sin, and the land will vomit out its inhabitants.

    26But you are to keep My statutes and ordinances, and you must not commit any of these abominations—neither your native-born nor the foreigner who lives among you. 27For the men who were in the land before you committed all these abominations, and the land has become defiled. 28So if you defile the land, it will vomit you out as it spewed out the nations before you.

    29Therefore anyone who commits any of these abominations must be cut off from among his people. 30You must keep My charge not to practice any of the abominable customs that were practiced before you, so that you do not defile yourselves by them. I am the LORD your God.”

  9. Yo is she the girl from the ally and aj show from Disney channel? The one with the older brother lol and they made cute lil skits and stuff

  10. I love how he started to list all the things it's about and how my boyfriend and i, we got all those things between us. Warmes my heart 💓

  11. Nice content, I felt cheated recently and i needed to make sure my instincts were true until i was referred to a hacking firm who took care of the hack job. They hacked him ans I’m so glad i had a proven truth that he was cheating. Contact them if you need any of their services on @brandhackers1 on Instagram or chat them up on WhatsApp +19163042321

  12. I have a would you rather for you guys: would you rather be poor but kind and happy or rich but rude and unhappy? Now heres another one: would you rather be happy and be hated for being real or be broken on the inside and be loved for something your not?

    Answer in the comments

  13. It's about penetration, it's about anal, it's about orgy, it's about bolwjob, it's about sucking, it's about humping, it's about groping, it's about pressing 😌

  14. Tell me why my teacher explained love connection to us and he wrote on the board "ATTENTION AND CONNECTION(POSITIVE)" he said that this is the number one thing that you should give to someone in a relationship. Because our brains are wired to want things like this. It makes us feel loved.

  15. Thank you for the reminder of how real marriage works. “No matter how much we argue we’re always on the same team”.

  16. Do not get married.
    This all is reel life.
    Real one sucks ending up in altercations, extramarital affairs, cheating and divorce thereby losing your money.

    Go mgtow

  17. Marriage benefits women. That's why women are so happy when a man proposes. She has him. At any moment after that, she can take his kids, house, emotional health and livelihood.
    Men. Don't be a fuck up. Don't get married.

  18. Marriage is outdated as it has a ceremonial connotation and the word sounds as if a mother or a "Mary" is involved clearly with the purpose of procreation. Civil partnership should always have the same legal consequences as marriage and it is neutral. Unfortunately in many, more primitive, mostly developing countries, marriage is the only option with legal rights.

  19. Smartness is important in marriage and in a relationship and I’m glad that cyberhackinggenius helped cloned my husband’s phone. I got access to all his dealings both on phone and social media without touching his phone. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with Cyberhackinggenius and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from my phone without having to touch his phone. My husband was a cheating Narcissist and I’m glad to find out all his secrets and infidelity with the help of cyberhackinggenius. I’m here in UK and able to access my husband’s phone messages with a link on my phone even while he was away in Canada cheating on me. I got to discover that my husband who is legally married to me here in UK is also recently married to another woman in Canada and I’m finally going through a divorce with lots of evidence against him. I read all deleted and recent chats on his Whatsapp, Twitter,Facebook,Instagram messages and Skype. You can contact this great hacker “Gavin” via Gmail  (cyberhackinggenius) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp : +19256795146 and I hope you find peace with your heart after finding the truth.

  20. I thought this was gonna be a warning and a quick talk about financial planning/expectations being sorted beforehand. But this is all about the fantasy and I pretend to respect that.

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